The birthing of the soul

'There is a self within me aching to be born.'

Alan Jones

In her book, ‘Dance of the Dissident Daughter’, writer, Sue Monk Kidd tells the story of a particularly powerful and vivid dream she had at one point in her soul journey. In the dream, she finds herself sitting near the ocean, nine months pregnant and  labouring to give birth. When her baby girl finally arrives and she holds her up to her face, she is stunned to discover that she has given birth to herself. She is is both mother and baby. On awakening from the dream, she is filled with a deep sense of joy, awe and reverence. Instinctively, she knows that it is matters, that it is telling her something of real importance about the slow unfolding of her being.

At its heart, the soul journey is the act of birthing of the soul. Giving birth is a powerful metaphor for this journey of homecoming. As the body labours over many hours to give birth to a baby, so the journeying we do over many months and years prepares us for giving birth to our soul. At times, the labour is intense and painful. At times, it is gentle and almost imperceptible. Occasionally it subsides for a while, giving us space to breathe and rest. And sometimes it peaks as we seek to fight what is happening within us, fearful of what it might bring.

My own and others’ experience of this journey has led me to see it as involving five universal movements or, to use the language of psychology, five fundamental growth processes that we all experience: those of awakening, discovering, letting go, emerging and transforming. We awaken to what we have lost; we discover what lies hidden or forgotten within; we let go of that which holds us back; we give birth to that which is unlived within us; and finally, this transforming of ourselves leads us to play our part in the transforming of our world. 

While these movements may sometimes occur sequentially, for many if not most of us, it is not that simple. More commonly, they flow in and out of our lives as we journey, overlapping and interweaving in complex ways like the steps of a dance. Some new awareness awakens within us as we are struggling to let go of an old way of thinking about ourselves. Some long-buried part of ourselves is already beginning to emerge as we are discovering a new way of making sense of our experience.

As I see it, the music of this dance is the flow of the human spirit within us. For the spirit is far more than the life force that sustains and energises our being. It is also the creative energy within us. The spirit inspires us. It breathes into us the urge to grow and to keep growing. It awakens our deepest longings. It reminds us that to be is to emerge, that our very existence is a continuing unfolding of the self. It challenges us to search for what is yet to be born within us, for all that we could be and need to be. It draws us towards our destiny, towards the fullest expression of our essential self.

It is the dance of the spirit within us that points us in the direction of the path that awaits us. And once we are on the way, the spirit is the energy that fuels our journeying. It keeps us moving onwards when the ground beneath our feet feels shaky and our resolve is weakening. It whispers words of hope and encouragement in our ears when the way ahead seems shrouded in mist. It alerts us when we stray from the path. It lifts us up when we fall by the roadside. ‘Don’t give up’, it says, ‘for you will find your way again.’

All we have to do is to give ourselves to the dance, to allow ourselves to feel and move to its rhythm. There is something in this of surrender, of letting go, of entrusting ourselves to the dance as it unfolds. At one level, it is simple. At another, it can at times be extraordinarily difficult. And as such, it requires courage, commitment, patience and perseverance. It demands a willingness to take a step into the unknown, to trust our own inner voice even in the face of others’ disapproval and to push through the fears that threaten to hold us back.  

The birthing of the soul is the path that each one of us must take if the seed of selfhood within us is to become all that it has the potential to be.  It is not without risk, it is not without cost, and it is not without pain. But, no matter how difficult the journey may be at times and no matter what it may ask of us, it is a journey that is well worth the making. For as Sue Monk Kidd discovered, when they come, the rewards are immeasurable, the joy is uncontainable and the freedom is exhilarating.     

Bibliography

Sue Monk Kidd (2016) Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A woman's journey from Christian tradition to the Sacred Feminine. HarperOne

©Copyright Kaitlyn Steele 2025

Kaitlyn Steele

www.insearchofsoul.co.uk

kaitlynsteele16@gmail.com