Reaching the turning point
- Kaitlyn Steele
- Jul 6, 2024
- 3 min read
'We drift through this grey increasing nowhere
Until we stand before a threshold we know
we have to cross to come alive once more.'
John O'Donohue
There comes a time in the process of letting go when we reach a significant turning point. For some time, we have been learning to face down the voices in our head that diminish us. We have come to know that if we are to find our way back to the parts of ourselves we lost along the way, we need to let go of some of our old ways of being in the world, to start living our lives differently. But so far, the changes we are aware of have been on the inside. The letting go we have wrestled with for so long is barely visible, perhaps even to those who know us best.
But then, the turning point finally arrives. Somewhere within us, we know that we are ready, that it is time. Writer John O'Donohue calls it 'the time of necessary decision.' Before us, there is a portal that we must walk through if we are to find our way home to soul. It is the gateway to the deeper self we are meant to be and the larger life we are meant to be living. To walk through it requires us to make choices and then to enact them. We may have to stop pursuing old ambitions, hopes and dreams that threaten to trap us in our survival self. We may have to let go of a work role, a community, a relationship, a calling or a pursuit that is diverting us from the new path we are now treading.
Naming what we need to let go of in our lives is the first step in making the changes that, somewhere deep within us, we know we need to make. Using a pencil, spend time making a list of all those things that you know you need to let go of at this point in your life. Alternatively, draw a picture of a brick wall. Using a pencil to do so, write something that you need to let go of on as many of the bricks as you can. Keep your list or picture and revisit it from time to time. Add anything new that you have become aware of and erase anything that you feel you have successfully let go of.
Making a commitment to ourselves that we will take the actions we need to take is the second step. Find or create an image of a gateway, portal, threshold or crossroads that speaks to you of the turning point you have reached in the process of letting go. At the same time, write a statement of commitment to your soul that you will enact the changes you need to bring about as far as is possible and as soon as you are able to. Place them both where you will see them often to remind yourself of the commitment you have made.
You may also find it helpful to read John O'Donohue's poem entitled 'For the time of necessary decision' which can be found in his book 'Benedictus' and online. If it speaks to you, print out a copy of it and keep it with your statement of commitment.
Be compassionate and gentle with yourself as you do these things. None of these decisions and changes are quickly or easily made. Walking away from what we have chosen in the past, from what has mattered to us in the past, from what has met our needs in the past, however imperfectly, is hard. It requires the courage to face our fears and the determination to persevere should we face opposition. It requires a depth of commitment to our own soul and a willingness to do what it is urging us to do, even when we fear the consequences or cannot see where it will lead us. Treading the path of change takes more time and effort than we might at first imagine. But when we finally emerge from the portal into the dawning of a new life, we will know beyond all doubt that it has all been worth it.
©Copyright Kaitlyn Steele 2025
Bibliography
John O'Donohue (2007) Benedictus: A book of blessings. Bantam Press
Kaitlyn Steele
Comments