Living the questions that matter
- Kaitlyn Steele
- Jun 28
- 3 min read
'Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves... Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.'
Rainer Maria Rilke
Most of the questions we ask ourselves every day are concerned with the minutiae of our daily existence. Questions such as what do I need to do today or how shall I go about this task? It is not that these questions have no importance, but there are others that matter far more - questions that enable us to step back from the minutiae of our daily life so that we can to see it as a whole, questions that are concerned with the nature and meaning of our existence.
Living the questions that matter is a form of soul practice. It challenges us to face the wider questions we have rather than dismissing them, to think about them carefully and deeply rather than brushing them aside. And it also takes us into a different way of engaging with them. It invites us to ponder and wonder rather than examine and analyse, to be open to seeing beyond the facts of our daily lives in order to embrace new ways of seeing and new possibilities. It takes us out of our analytical minds into our intuitive minds.
Below is a list of those kinds of questions that we often find ourselves asking in midlife. It is not an exhaustive list so you may find that the questions you are wrestling with at this point in your life do not feature below.
1. Read the list through slowly and reflectively and make a note of any that resonate with you at this stage in your journey. Rephrase them in your own words if it would help you to engage with them.
What is the matter with me?
Why do I feel so restless and dissatisfied?
What is missing in my life?
What am I longing for?
What am I searching for?
What parts of myself have I lost along the way?
What parts of myself am I not fully living?
Am I living a life that is too small?
Who am I really?
How can I become the self I truly am?
Who do I want to be?
When do I feel most fully myself?
When do I feel most fully alive?
Who or what do I need to free myself from?
What do I need to let go off?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
What am I most passionate about?
What is mine to do?
What am I meant to be doing with my life?
What would give my life meaning?
What do I need to change about my life?
Are the changes I need to make possible and is it the right time to make them?
2. Add to your list any other questions that are prominent for you at this time in your life as well as any that arise as you engage in this practice.
3 Choose one of the questions that feels most compelling at this point in your journey and set aside some time to sit with it every day. Find a quiet space and time where you will not be interrupted as you reflect and then ask yourself the question, sitting with it for as long as you can. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the question. Notice where your mind takes you as you sit with it. What thoughts, images, words and wonderings surface? What feelings and physical sensations are you aware of in yourself? If you find journaling helpful, make a note of what you experience and what you have learnt from it in your journal. Do this every day until the question ceases to be compelling... and then move on to another one.
Bibliography
Rainer Maria Rilke (2016) Letters to a Young Poet. Penguin Classics
Kaitlyn Steele
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